Friday, December 24, 2010

Sexual empowerment and the practice of pride (1)

I.My practice of pride begins in my stomach
a red ball of energy kept warm within my womb.

I'm growing. My arms span wider, my legs stand straighter, my thighs are stronger. The shackles of shame loosened, my body is better able to breathe under its weight. Once constricted, twisted, and contorted by the medical labels of 'cerebral palsy' and 'disability'; my limbs, muscles, and bones are now untangling through the power in crip and community.

II. Pride, a red ball of energy kept warm within my womb
drops like an egg, and travels down my inner thighs

I'm growing. Lost shame has left spaces in my flesh, craters in my bones and dents in my muscles. Wounds so deep, that I feel a cool emptiness enter my body where the shame exists. Wounds so deep, that sometimes I wonder if it is possible to ever be whole without shame.

III. Pride, a red ball of energy kept warm within my womb,
drops and traces the curves of my hips with her two gentle fingers.
I feel her pressure on my bones.
Her warmth makes my stomach tingle
I see her red, five fingered hand prints on my skin.

Can you?


1 comment:

Delbertino said...

Ava your posts are very inspiring and interesting.
I have albinism and have always been self-conscious of that, particularly in relation to sexuality and attraction. One thing I have fouhnd that is really making a difference to my self-perception is my practice of Zen Buddhism. I notice that you have an interest in that too and wonder if you practice and if it has had a similar impact for you.
Take care.